


Tiny, Cute, Fluffy Kittens

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-24
Updated: 2004-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-07 11:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10359327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Summary: During the Ontario provincial elections last year, the candidatesgot a little... snippy.  One referred to his opponent as a "reptiliankitten-eater from another planet".  People really shouldn’t saythings like that where I might hear them.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 Fanfiction - Tiny, Cute, Fluffy Kittens

Daniel stared at the bones lying uncovered in the black earth before him.

They were not human. They were not Unas. They were something else, something that was admittedly out of his league.

It looked a lot like a dinosaur.

He couldn't quite see the point of the Goa'uld transplanting large reptiles through the stargate, so it was probably an indiginous life form. Paleontology was not his strong point, however. He'd have to request reinforcements.

//Daniel? What's your status?// Daniel glanced at his watch, suddenly aware that he'd been so engrossed in uncovering the creature that he'd completely forgotten to check in.

"I'm fine, Jack. Found the skeleton of what looks like a large reptile. I think I'm going to need Dr. Bartolomew for this one."

//All right, then, wrap it up and head back to camp. Dinner's on in thirty.//

"Heading back now. If you can throw the steak onto the barbecue in about twenty minutes, it should be well done by the time I get there. Baked potatoes with sour cream and chives would also be nice, and perhaps a nice souffle for dessert?"

//Mac and cheese with camp coffee it is. Get your ass back here, or I'll let Teal'c make it. Over.//

Daniel shuddered at the thought of the overcooked MRE's that Teal'c seemed to actually enjoy eating. "I'm on my way."

Daniel stood, dusting the dirt off of his BDU's with one hand, and reaching up to take the sweaty bandana off his head with the other, making a mental directory of what still needed to be done at the site. He'd eat, get cleaned up, and call back for reinforcements for tomorrow.

He headed back towards the camp, luxuriating in the late afternoon sunshine. This planet was just a thriving oasis of small animals, bright flowers, big trees, high trees, and warm temperatures. He hadn't felt this relaxed and happy on a dig in years. It was almost like a vacation.

As he walked through the glade, he noticed a flash of white racing through the grass towards him. The small shape barrelled along, seemingly oblivious to Daniel's presence.

It barrelled straight into Daniel's leg.

Daniel blinked at his feet. A small white kitten lay stunned and confused beside his boot.

"Well, hello there," he said in his most pleasant tone of voice. "I'm guessing you haven't figured out how to watch where you're going yet, have you little guy?"

Big blue eyes blinked up at him.

A chuckle escaped Daniel's lips as he bent down and let the kitten sniff his fingers. A loud purr broke the silence, and the kitten struggled to its feet, batting its head against his hand. He knelt down and scratched behind its ears, much to the apparent delight of the ball of fluff in front of him.

"It was nice to meet you, but I have to get moving now. Dinner and all that." Daniel straightened up and started moving again, trying to ignore the mewing coming from behind him.

He arrived at the camp to find that Jack had followed through on his threat, and Teal'c was happily turning MRE's to cinders in a pot over the campfire. Jack and Sam were sitting on a nearby log. Daniel rescued what was left of his dinner from the flames before joining them.

Daniel returned Jack's smug grin as his friend ate food that was decidedly not charcoal. Hefting a spoonful of blackened noodles, Daniel started eating with exagerated enjoyment.

"So, what did you guys find?" he asked after a few minutes of silent eating.

"It looks like there is a huge trinium deposit not far from here." Sam was smiling as she set her plate down on the ground in front of her. "Considering that there's no one on this world, we may have found a good mining site."

Daniel shook his head. "I had a run in with a native on my way back, actually."

The rest of the team stared at him in shocked silence. "And you didn't call it in because?" Jack's face was serious, but Daniel couldn't resist a small chuckle.

"It was a kitten, actually. Ran right into me in the field." Daniel gestured over his shoulder with his fork.

"You know, I kind of doubt that mining is going to be put off because of one kitten."

"You're probably right," Daniel grudgingly admitted. There was no other sign of civilisation so far. It would be hard to stop the Air Force from exploiting a seemingly empty world.

Teal'c was finally pulling the scorched remains of his MRE from the flames as Daniel was finishing off his meal. Although Junior kept Teal'c in good health, it had to have been a full time job just keeping his food from rotting the inside of the Jaffa's stomach. The look of bliss on Teal'c's face as he bit into the dark mass was frightening to behold.

Before Daniel could look away, a loud yowl filled the air around them. Before he could think about the sound he was on his feet, Berretta clasped firmly in his hand, scanning the beginnings of the twilight for the source of the sound. He was aware of his teammates moving to the edges of the camp with their own weapons raised. At times like this the years of training kicked in automatically for all of them, and Daniel found their presence very reassuring as another scream pierced the silence.

A movement to his left caught Daniel's eye. Jack was signaling for Teal'c and Sam to check the area behind them and for Daniel to join him moving forward. Daniel nodded his agreement, and started walking carefully into the field surrounding the campsite.

Something small and white tore across the clearing. The shriek that it let out raised the hairs on the back of Daniel's neck. Two other small white balls raced along behind it, adding their cries to the leader's. It sounded as if the kittens were running for their lives, and Daniel wasn't sure he wanted to know what they were running from.

There was another sound starting to make itself heard over the screeching, a deep rumbling that Daniel felt in his bones. He turned toward the edge of the forest just as the pursuer broke through the cover of the trees with a crash.

At first it looked like an Unas, it's green scaly skin gleaming in the setting sun. But the gait was wrong, and as it made its way after the kittens, Daniel made out the dim shadow of a long tail trailing behind it. It's snout was large, more like a horse than a humanoid.

"It's a T-rex!" Jack's surprise was obvious, but it hit Daniel that his friend was right. This thing was a miniature dinosaur, probably a direct descendant of the skeleton that he'd found earlier.

At the sound of Jack's voice, the creature stopped chasing the cats, and headed straight for the campsite. Daniel raised his weapon, not sure what good a Berretta would do but damned if he'd stand defenseless.

A zat blast arced in front of Daniel, stunning the creature mid-step. It toppled over in slow motion, moaning as it hit the ground with a thud. Its small front paws clawed the air as if trying to find a way to flip itself over.

Sam moved past Daniel, weapon still trained on the creature.

"OK." Jack sounded hesitant as Sam took another step forward. "I don't think we should try playing with the wildlife right now, Carter. Daniel, exactly how old were those bones you found?"

Daniel pictured the site in his mind, recalling the layers of dirt he'd moved, and the discolouration of the skeleton. "Fairly old, I think."

The look Jack shot towards him was filled with disbelief. "Fairly?"

"A couple hundred years, at least." Daniel shook his head. "I can't be completely sure, since there could have been erosion or other weather factors that could have removed or added layers of sediment, but..."

"So you're saying it was a long time."

Jack had gone back to scanning the field around them, so Daniel let the discussion drop. There could be more of those things out there, and he was pretty sure that they wouldn't want to be around when backup arrived.

"Oh my God." Sam's voice was soft, but her shock was evident. Daniel turned back to the creature, grasping his gun tightly in case he needed it.

The reptile was still waving its paws slowly in the air. Nothing seemed to have changed.

Except that the kittens were coming back. Daniel counted six tiny balls of fur moving stealthily toward the writhing dinosaur. Soft growls could be heard in the growing twilight. When they were within a few feet of the green scales, they pounced.

A shuddering moan escaped from the reptile as the cats moved over it, the arms thrashing wildly, then slowing down before finally stilling. The sound of tearing flesh was punctuated by soft meows, and another noise that sounded suspiciously like purring.

Daniel was aware of the tension in his teammates as they stared in amazement. Glints of blue shone from the cats' eyes through the falling darkness. Suddenly the planet didn't seem quite as harmless as it had before.

"Carter, Daniel, break down camp. Quickly. Teal'c, you and I will watch the perimeter. As soon as everything is packed up we are so out of here."

Sam didn't seem to be in the mood to disobey orders, regardless of how much trinium they were leaving behind. They moved quickly to dismantle the tents and gear, stopping and scanning the encampment every time the grass rustled. When they were ready, the team headed back toward the gate, watching the trees around them for flashes of white. Fortunately, the kittens must have been happy with their already dead prey, and they managed to make it back through the gate with no more encounters.

General Hammond was waiting for them when their feet hit the ramp at the SGC. "SG1, you weren't due back for another three days. What happened?"

Jack found his voice first. "There were kittens, sir. Tiny, cute, fluffy kittens. Lots of them. I recommend we lock that planet out of the dialing computer."

The Gateroom was silent as SG1 headed to the showers.

**The End**

  


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>   
>  Author's Notes: Released from the Our Stargate zine that was distributed at several   
> conventions. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. :)
> 
> Thanks: To BabsN for nag... convincing me the OS zine was a good place to publish, and for nag... convincing me to finish the story for it. To Alhena for nag... asking me for something related to animals so that she could draw the absolutely adorable pic that went with it in the zine.
> 
> Feedback: Always good. Unless it's a flame. Then it's bad, and will be ignored.

* * *

>   
>  © March 2004 The characters mentioned in this story are the  
>  property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and  
>  all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together  
>  with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA  
>  Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret  
>  Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not  
>  intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for  
>  entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are  
>  the sole property of the author.  
> 

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